If that was your dad, he is hot
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
