I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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