I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
