I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
