I would go down on you faster than GM stock
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
