If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize