he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
