Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
