I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
