and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
