i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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