remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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