U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
