K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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