I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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