I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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