How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
