i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We need a shit load of segways right now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize