That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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