You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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