dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
