I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
