Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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