she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize