HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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