can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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