Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
false alarm, still single
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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