Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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