see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
