I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
