meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
