He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize