is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
