Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
