That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
