erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
