worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
