so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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