dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize