I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
