Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
