I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
