Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
