ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
