At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
