Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
