Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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