She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
