Soap is not a condiment
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
