OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
