Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
