Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
