I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize