Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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