she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
