Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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