i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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