so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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