Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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