I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
